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Sunday, April 11, 2010

One Year Anniversary

It has been exactly one year today since I found out all the things I'm intolerant to.

I can't believe how time goes by. As I look back on the past year, the journey that's happened and all that has already been accomplished I can't help but smile.

I am thinking about 2 things on this day:
  1.  Leah Vachani - Thank God for fabulous nutritionists like Leah. I have worked with her for the past year. If it weren't for Leah, I would not be where I am today. If you have been following my Blog all along, you know that we had to try many things before we found out what actually worked for me. But never once did Leah recommend medication or anything unnatural. She was patient and listened to what I was telling her. She modified when needed. And so I listened to her every word because I trusted her. I am so thankful for that!
  2. I am Just Getting Started - I still have my struggles. Each and every day. Why? Not because I'm necessarily trying to figure anything out, but because the information I am armed with is not the information I want. Knowledge is Power. But with this power comes decisions I must make each and every day:
  • They begin at 6am, when all I want is an egg white omelet with a piece of toast and sugar free jam (NONE of which I can have). And I've got to be honest - that makes me want to cry. 
  • And then when I'm trying to achieve fitness goals, but I don't know if I'll ever get there with my hundreds of restrictions. I need to have oatmeal with protein powder or fish with quinoa or chicken and a sweet potato. Yes, I can have the fish and chicken in those scenarios, but it's the carb that I'm lacking. The good carb. And without that carb it's a vicious cycle I circle around: Lack of food - hungry - craving more fruit - more hungry - not enough calories - difficult to build/maintain muscle - repeat. Let's be honest, there is only so much meat I can handle. As a matter of fact, day-in and day-out it makes me super grossed out.
  • Finally, going out to eat in restaurants or being out with friends is embarrassing for me. When I order and say, "I just want salmon - plain - no seasonings or anything on it - skip the side," I feel like I'm high maintenance. Typically they don't get it. I don't expect them to. Or when we're out with new people oftentimes I try to "hide" what I order or just simply say "I'm not hungry." I feel like an anorexic. And that's not the case. It just gets old answering 100 questions, when I just want to have fun and enjoy the company of people - not the (unwelcomed) company of food that will probably make me look 9 months pregnant within 3 minutes.
BUT AGAIN, despite all that, I am looking back and smiling. I'm happy to know that I have days that are near flawless now (today is NOT one of them - ha - coincidentally). And those days give me hope for this next year. I am happy that there are people in my life who understand and support me. But mostly, I think I'm the most happy because of the commitment I've made to me! This is not ever going to be easy, but because of it, I know me so well. I know how to listen to my body. I know when something is right and when it's not right. And I take care of it - because I'm worth it. And how can you not smile about a respect like that?!

Cheers to (an even better) Year 2!

3 comments:

  1. And what a journey it has been for you. You deserve every bit of happiness that comes your way. You are the most dedicated and positive thinker I have ever met. Not only have you learned from me, but I believe through your perseverance and commitment to wellness, I have learned even more from you. You are right in that we do not have all the answers, but who does? I believe that this struggle we call "life" would not be worth living if it were easy. Granted, you seem to have been dealt a hand of cards that requires unwavering willpower, but I know it is nothing you cannot handle. Keep on being the pillar of strength that you are, but also know that it is OK to "break" once in a while. That is why you have an amazing support network of friends and family. I am so proud of your accomplishments in the last year (not only with food!)

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  2. Poor baby.... I read your list and you are unable to process an amazing array of things, all of which are quite tasty. The self-discipline you must employ is crazy.

    But you seem to be dealing with it well and are keeping on track. I think that the only things I am intolerant to are mint and rude people.

    Keep up the good work and listen to your body!

    Warmest aloha,

    Kay Lorraine
    Honolulu, Hawaii

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