Endoscopy Full Results

My full endoscopy results came in yesterday.

Seems as though I'm basically a dog just out there chasing my tail! 

The Doctor said I definitely have a lot of inflammation, but it doesn't point to any specific cause. If I don't know the cause, I don't know the action - well, the full action anyways. 

I don't have Celiac, though he said that staying away from Wheat/Gluten will probably only help me. The only harm he sees with me eliminating Wheat/Gluten is total daily caloric intake (and me not getting enough). I don't have a problem with this, though! I teach myself daily that when I'm hungry, I eat!

In a few weeks, he wants to do further "exploring" via, you guessed it - more blood tests. I won't lie, it's getting old. Very old! I'm just trying to remain positive. And of course, I'm dotting my "I's" and crossing my "T's" when it comes to being careful with food. Between the two, it's been my best bet against this "fight with my 40 feet of intestines!"

My mom says, "I think you're quite healthy." To her I responded, "I sure am. It's just a bum-tum."

I take each day at a time. Smart (food) choices, healthy (workout and movement) habits - and of course, a smile!

CHEERS!

Trying to Stay Positive

I think that everyone deals with something in their life that could make them a very negative person, if they let it get that far. And I'm not perfect when it comes to this - just ask my husband:) But this has been extremely "trying" for me lately. I have had to think of everything possible to maintain my positivity.

It seems that lately, even when I'm sticking to the GAPS, I'm not doing well with my stomach. These problems are a mystery. I have literally (now) tried EVERYTHING in the book. I don't want to think of it like there's nothing else I could possibly do, but I'm just not sure what I could do anymore. 

Not that anyone really cares, but I've decided to start researching the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.

But for now, I realize that I must try to stay positive. So I remind myself that I have the best husband in the world, my dogs who rule my heart, family, friends, a career I absolutely love and the chance for something new each and everyday. 

And I carry these thing with me to keep me staying positive!

One Year Anniversary

It has been exactly one year today since I found out all the things I'm intolerant to.

I can't believe how time goes by. As I look back on the past year, the journey that's happened and all that has already been accomplished I can't help but smile.

I am thinking about 2 things on this day:

1.  Leah Vachani - Thank God for fabulous nutritionists like Leah. I have worked with her for the past year. If it weren't for Leah, I would not be where I am today. If you have been following my Blog all along, you know that we had to try many things before we found out what actually worked for me. But never once did Leah recommend medication or anything unnatural. She was patient and listened to what I was telling her. She modified when needed. And so I listened to her every word because I trusted her. I am so thankful for that!
2. I am Just Getting Started - I still have my struggles. Each and every day. Why? Not because I'm necessarily trying to figure anything out, but because the information I am armed with is not the information I want. Knowledge is Power. But with this power comes decisions I must make each and every day:

• They begin at 6am, when all I want is an egg white omelet with a piece of toast and sugar free jam (NONE of which I can have). And I've got to be honest - that makes me want to cry. 
• And then when I'm trying to achieve fitness goals, but I don't know if I'll ever get there with my hundreds of restrictions. I need to have oatmeal with protein powder or fish with quinoa or chicken and a sweet potato. Yes, I can have the fish and chicken in those scenarios, but it's the carb that I'm lacking. The good carb. And without that carb it's a vicious cycle I circle around: Lack of food - hungry - craving more fruit - more hungry - not enough calories - difficult to build/maintain muscle - repeat. Let's be honest, there is only so much meat I can handle. As a matter of fact, day-in and day-out it makes me super grossed out.
• Finally, going out to eat in restaurants or being out with friends is embarrassing for me. When I order and say, "I just want salmon - plain - no seasonings or anything on it - skip the side," I feel like I'm high maintenance. Typically they don't get it. I don't expect them to. Or when we're out with new people oftentimes I try to "hide" what I order or just simply say "I'm not hungry." I feel like an anorexic. And that's not the case. It just gets old answering 100 questions, when I just want to have fun and enjoy the company of people - not the (unwelcomed) company of food that will probably make me look 9 months pregnant within 3 minutes.

BUT AGAIN, despite all that, I am looking back and smiling. I'm happy to know that I have days that are near flawless now (today is NOT one of them - ha - coincidentally). And those days give me hope for this next year. I am happy that there are people in my life who understand and support me. But mostly, I think I'm the most happy because of the commitment I've made to me! This is not ever going to be easy, but because of it, I know me so well. I know how to listen to my body. I know when something is right and when it's not right. And I take care of it - because I'm worth it. And how can you not smile about a respect like that?!

Cheers to (an even better) Year 2!

What's Your Reason?

There is a reason behind everything we do. And there is a choice that precedes every decision we make. And thus is the reason for the decision. Sounds deep. But it's not!

Today was a "rest day" for me in my workout schedule. I did a hard leg workout yesterday and it's typically the day after that that I will take my rest day. So that only leaves 1 (maybe 2) days a week that I'm not in the gym. But today I was reminded again of WHY only taking 1-2 days/week off is max for me.

Remember why I started this blog in the first place? If not, refer here. I have a form of Colitis. I am food intolerant. And I have stomach and mouth problems that drive me crazy most of the time. BUT, I try not to focus on them. I focus on things I can do to alleviate them. 


There are 2 ways for me to do this:

1. Through food (or lack thereof)
2. Through my workouts

My post today is not about food. It's about the working out portion. Working out is my "friend." Literally. It's a 110% positive relationship. I think we all strive for our relationships to be like this! For me, working out = less stomach problems. Working out = a better attitude and frame of mind. Working out = control (over my stomach issues).

I will choose, almost each and every day of my life, to workout - I have decided this. And my reason is because it helps me manage all the random stomach problems I have. Ok....and I'll admit, my other reason is to keep it rockin' my entire life! 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 and above - always keep it rockin', healthy and fit!

So tell me, what's YOUR reason?!

Unhappy Day

Day 58.

Just an unpleasant day for me. Just when I thought I was doing so well.

Today was such a frustrating day. There were several instances when I just wanted to cry. It took everything in me not to try and find a punching bag, punch away and cry. I was so bloated and my lower stomach in pain. Nothing has moved through me for a couple of days now. And so I spent an hour tonight doing 25 minutes of cardio and a half hour of abs to see if I could get myself "moving." In addition, I pushed on my lower stomach, jumbled it up. I got home around 7pm and sure enough, I got sick - everything through me. This constant back 'n forth has got me going crazy right about now! Absolutely crazy. My mouth was a level 5/6 today, too. What went wrong? Where did I go wrong?

I went to a Chamber luncheon today. I was so hungry, as it was over the lunch hour. I passed on lunch. The salad, the grilled chicken with a sauce and buttery vegetables. Oh, and the triple-layer chocolate cake, too. Yes, I passed on it all. I drank water.

I think this is why it's been such an unhappy day today. Here I am doing everything I possibly can and then I still have days like this. People looked at me like I was crazy when I didn't eat. Fast forward 4 hours from then and I was unbuttoning my pants because I was so bloated. What gives? Why? Why? Why?

I am being such a downer today - I apologize for this posting. But I guess, we take the good, we take the bad; we take them both and here we have - the facts of life.

Here was my day:

Breakfast

• Steel Cut Oats, Nutribiotic Vanilla Rice Protein Powder with Unsweetened Rice Milk, Coconut Milk Light, Flax, and Stevia
• 1/2 Fruit Fusion Bar (Dried Apple and Cranberry)
• Unsweetened Applesauce
• Peets Coffee with Stevia
  

Snack

• Organic Apple

Lunch

• Spinach + Garlic
• Grilled Chicken
• New Scallop Pasta Mix
• 1/2 Fruit Fusion Bar (Dried Apple and Cranberry)
  

Pre-Workout

• Orange
• Wild Salmon Burger
  

Dinner

• Spinach + Garlic + Fish Oil + Spirulina + Flax + Sea Salt
• New Scallop Pasta Mix
• Orange
  

And just to add to this day, I am homesick. Yes, I AM HOMESICK. I have been for a few weeks now; it really caught up with me today. One good cry and I'll move on; I hope. I'll be over it and stronger tomorrow.....with everything.