Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Unhappy Day

Day 58.

Just an unpleasant day for me. Just when I thought I was doing so well.

Today was such a frustrating day. There were several instances when I just wanted to cry. It took everything in me not to try and find a punching bag, punch away and cry. I was so bloated and my lower stomach in pain. Nothing has moved through me for a couple of days now. And so I spent an hour tonight doing 25 minutes of cardio and a half hour of abs to see if I could get myself "moving." In addition, I pushed on my lower stomach, jumbled it up. I got home around 7pm and sure enough, I got sick - everything through me. This constant back 'n forth has got me going crazy right about now! Absolutely crazy. My mouth was a level 5/6 today, too. What went wrong? Where did I go wrong?

I went to a Chamber luncheon today. I was so hungry, as it was over the lunch hour. I passed on lunch. The salad, the grilled chicken with a sauce and buttery vegetables. Oh, and the triple-layer chocolate cake, too. Yes, I passed on it all. I drank water.

I think this is why it's been such an unhappy day today. Here I am doing everything I possibly can and then I still have days like this. People looked at me like I was crazy when I didn't eat. Fast forward 4 hours from then and I was unbuttoning my pants because I was so bloated. What gives? Why? Why? Why?

I am being such a downer today - I apologize for this posting. But I guess, we take the good, we take the bad; we take them both and here we have - the facts of life.

Here was my day:

  • Steel Cut Oats, Nutribiotic Vanilla Rice Protein Powder with Unsweetened Rice Milk, Coconut Milk Light, Flax, and Stevia
  • 1/2 Fruit Fusion Bar (Dried Apple and Cranberry)
  • Unsweetened Applesauce
  • Peets Coffee with Stevia
  • Organic Apple
  • Spinach + Garlic
  • Grilled Chicken
  • New Scallop Pasta Mix
  • 1/2 Fruit Fusion Bar (Dried Apple and Cranberry)
  • Orange
  • Wild Salmon Burger
  • Spinach + Garlic + Fish Oil + Spirulina + Flax + Sea Salt
  • New Scallop Pasta Mix
  • Orange
And just to add to this day, I am homesick. Yes, I AM HOMESICK. I have been for a few weeks now; it really caught up with me today. One good cry and I'll move on; I hope. I'll be over it and stronger tomorrow.....with everything.

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