Sunday, July 19, 2009

Out of this "State"

Day 98.

The Kenny Chesney concert started off great! And here are the pictures to prove it.

Danny doing the pullup contest.


Shondra, Tracy & I.


Mike & I. (So nice seeing you come all the way from Minnesota!)


Ryan & I.


But shortly after that, around 6pm, I got so sick. I didn't even make it to see Kenny!

I had 4 drinks yesterday: 2 glasses of red wine, then a pineapple/vodka and finally a bloody mary.

Right after the bloody mary I was so hungry. I thought I could be "normal" just for a second. So I ate a few random things at a restaurant - grilled chicken, potatoes, veggies and random seasonings, spices, oils, condiments.

I don't remember much after that. I will keep this psting as "clean" as possible, but I got sick. Very sick. I went back to the hotel and fell asleep.

I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be perfect throughout this journey. But I will say that yesterday was so frustrating for me. I wondered why I can't just be "normal." Why can't I just have one day to go out, have fun and not have to worry, worry, worry about what goes in my body?

Today a new outlook, though. What happened yesterday, while frustrating at the time, was perfectly okay to have happen to me. And it does not make me a failure. It's like the quote from Anais Nin,
"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."
Today I realized how awful that feeling was. How terrible it is/was for my body. How miserable a state I put myself in. And it is this "state" that I don't want to be in. I've elected to get out of it - and I did so immediately upon awakening today!

Here was my day:

Breakfast (At Roxanne Cafe in San Francisco)
  • Fresh Fruit (Watermelon, Cantaloupe, Honeydew Melon, Strawberry)
  • Oatmeal + Banana + Raisins
  • Cafe Au Lait (Vanilla Soy + Stevia)
  • (Steamed) Spinach + garlic + sea salt
  • Watermelon
  • Romaine Lettuce
  • Lean Turkey + ACV
  • (Steamed) Spinach + garlic + sea salt
  • Romaine Lettuce
  • Lean Turkey
  • Quinoa
  • Maple Syrup + Balsamic Vinaigrette
  • 1/2 Fruit Fusion
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow, grab my cup of coffee and hit the gym!

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