Sunday, July 19, 2009

Out of this "State"

Day 98.

The Kenny Chesney concert started off great! And here are the pictures to prove it.

Danny doing the pullup contest.

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Shondra, Tracy & I.

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Mike & I. (So nice seeing you come all the way from Minnesota!)

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Ryan & I.

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But shortly after that, around 6pm, I got so sick. I didn't even make it to see Kenny!

I had 4 drinks yesterday: 2 glasses of red wine, then a pineapple/vodka and finally a bloody mary.

Right after the bloody mary I was so hungry. I thought I could be "normal" just for a second. So I ate a few random things at a restaurant - grilled chicken, potatoes, veggies and random seasonings, spices, oils, condiments.

I don't remember much after that. I will keep this psting as "clean" as possible, but I got sick. Very sick. I went back to the hotel and fell asleep.

I am not perfect. I have never claimed to be perfect throughout this journey. But I will say that yesterday was so frustrating for me. I wondered why I can't just be "normal." Why can't I just have one day to go out, have fun and not have to worry, worry, worry about what goes in my body?

Today a new outlook, though. What happened yesterday, while frustrating at the time, was perfectly okay to have happen to me. And it does not make me a failure. It's like the quote from Anais Nin,
"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."
Today I realized how awful that feeling was. How terrible it is/was for my body. How miserable a state I put myself in. And it is this "state" that I don't want to be in. I've elected to get out of it - and I did so immediately upon awakening today!

Here was my day:

Breakfast (At Roxanne Cafe in San Francisco)
  • Fresh Fruit (Watermelon, Cantaloupe, Honeydew Melon, Strawberry)
  • Oatmeal + Banana + Raisins
  • Cafe Au Lait (Vanilla Soy + Stevia)
Lunch
  • (Steamed) Spinach + garlic + sea salt
  • Watermelon
  • Romaine Lettuce
  • Lean Turkey + ACV
Dinner
  • (Steamed) Spinach + garlic + sea salt
  • Romaine Lettuce
  • Lean Turkey
  • Quinoa
  • Maple Syrup + Balsamic Vinaigrette
  • 1/2 Fruit Fusion
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow, grab my cup of coffee and hit the gym!

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