Today has been a very hard day for me. I think my body must be sending some sort of weird signals saying, "What are you doing to me? Where is my Tofu? And Greek Yogurt? And Soy Lattes?"
I woke up today feeling kind of crummy and bloated. I got dressed, though, and put a smile on because my Mom is flying in tonight. It was going to be a good day!
By late morning, though, my mouth was really annoying me! Let me explain this "mouth problem" because I will refer to it a lot. It's bizarre. It's unnatural. It's unlike anything that any doctor or dentist could ever help me figure out. My mouth constantly feels like it's burning or chronically being rubbed against carpet. It has been this way for about 5 years. Some days are better than others, though. The sides of my tongue annoy me. The sides of the roof of my mouth annoy me. Talking is so frustrating most of the time. Sometimes it just burns all over. Sometimes, red dots (not painful at all) just appear out of nowhere on the insides of my cheeks.
Having said all of that, the strangest thing is that there is absolutely nothing visible in my mouth! And this is why no one has ever been able to figure it out. 5 years ago a dentist said, "Well, I have no idea what it is, but I'm going to give you antibiotics for Thrush." So he gave them to me. Outcome? Nothing - if anything, made it burn worse. Doctor after doctor had no idea - no one even wanted to investigate it more. Some took several blood tests, which showed nothing. And over the years, people have just looked at me like I was crazy when I try to explain this all. I've had several, several breakdowns of just crying because no one could understand - mostly when people laughed and/or said it was "just all in my head." It was a dentist, about 3 years into it, who said, "Perhaps it's food allergies."
And now, I just pray everyday that it is.
Back to my downer day....
So my mouth is super annoyed annoyed today. And, today, red dots appeared on my lower gums. They look like little "specks" of red dots.
I have felt really stomach cramps and a weird bloat all day. My stomach is twisted.
I am so tired today. Several people at work have commented on "the bags under my eyes." My eyes feel heavy and I feel tired.
I am sad today. Doughnuts were brought in today - the really great kind with chocolate and sprinkles! I looked at them, but knew that they would only add to this problem in the long run. So I refrained. But not with the enthusiasm I had hoped to have today.
And I became even more sad when I just thought about food and what I was going to eat. I went to Whole Foods, again, for the 2nd time in 4 days! I bought ingredients for a recipe that I'm going to make tomorrow night, one that Leah gave to me. I also found some Organic Corn Tortillas, which Leah said would be fine for me. But still, I'm so hungry.
I wonder, perhaps this is a food withdrawal. Maybe this is a real phenomenon that I am going through? Maybe this is supposed to happen and this is a good thing?
I read somewhere that the reason I am experiencing these symptoms is because my body is releasing too many toxins that I cannot handle. They say the more toxins you have the more symptoms you will also get. They also said that symptoms can last 10 days to a couple of weeks, depending on my toxicity levels and how fast I can eliminate these toxins.
Here was my day:
- Nutribiotic Vanilla Rice Protein Powder with Unsweetened Rice Milk, Spirulina, Fish Oil, Banana and Stevia
- Organic Carrots
- Organic Apple
- Organic spinach and zucchini
- Organic Romaine Lettuce
- Raw Walnuts
- Homemade Dressing (Olive Oil + Braggs Organic Apple Cider Vinegar + a pinch of Cinnamon)
- Organic Pear
- Organic Steel Cut Oats
- Organic, Unsweetened Rice Milk with 1 packet of Stevia
- Organic, Corn Tortillas with Whole Foods Grilled Chicken
- Wild Salmon Burger
- Salad with Homemade Dressing from earlier
- Organic spinach
- Organic Romaine Lettuce
- Dried Bananas
I will leave the day by heading to the airport with Ryan to pick up my Mom, who gets in at 11:30pm. We cannot wait to have her for the weekend! It will be good for me; much needed!
I know that today's "bump-in-the-road" may be one of many to come....BUT, tomorrow is another day. I am thankful, so very thankful, to have yet another day to witness some sort of progress.
I leave the Day 3 Dumps with happiness through my zen and images that make me happy!